Digital porn is omnipresent. So, how do we prepare our sons and daughters to win the war against the porn culture all around them? It's a good question from a mother named Molly.
"Pastor John, thank you for this podcast and every time you talk about parents My question: what is the best way to prepare our children to go out alone in our porn culture? I have two young boys, and see so many men good and divine fall victims of various types of lust makes me deeply sad to think that my boys become more aware.I know that at the end of the day the Lord is sovereign, but there is something in particular that my husband and I can do now to help them see what is really precious and prepare them for these digital temptations? "
Well, I doubt that here has more wisdom than Molly and her husband, but I'll give you a list of things that can at least compare their list with and see if there may be one or two things that they did not think it would be useful.
"It highlights in the Bible the superior joy that comes from knowing Christ, rather than all the forms of sin that could be pursued".
Of course, I want to make it clear that when you make a list like this, each of these is a reality. It is a huge reality. It's not just, "Oh, here's one more thing on the tick list." I hope we are all aware of the fact that even if I analyze them quickly enough, each of them is a work of the Spirit that needs our whole heart
There is no guarantee that our children will become believers or walk the way we want them. I ask the question like this: because some children trust their father and mother and their way, they want to conform their lives to the vision of their parents, and then do them alone one day, while other children, almost from the beginning , seem to treat their parents as if they were silly or imprudent or untrustworthy? They are always pushing against instead of saying, "Well, of course Mom and Dad know better, they're older than me, and they've been around the block a couple of times."
Because? Why do some children, even in the same family, do it? So what we want are strategies that God could be happy to use to create in our children a profound personal trust in us as parents first, and then through us a trust in the true and living God as our children experience their faith completely like them .
So, keep it in mind. There is no guarantee here. Children in the same family treated the same way can be resistant or compliant and our goal is not external compliance with the rules; it is interior love for God and his way.
So here is my list.
1. Children need a humble heart to conform with mum and dad and the scriptures, so pray sincerely that they be humble under the mighty hand of God (1 Peter 5: 6). Pray that God may give them the gift of profound humility.
2. Try to be absolutely authentic in your love for Christ, in your joy in him and in your joy through his ways. You can not force the satisfaction of a child in God when it does not seem to satisfy mom and dad.
3. Saturate your family with the scriptures. Talk about it in the morning, at noon and in the evening. You talk about it when you get up, when you go to eat, when you get in the car. Talk about the word of God and try to help your children understand it. Treat the Bible as the absolute authority in your life. Pray that children grow up believing that this book is the highest authority of the universe under God.
"There is a better way, more joyful, more lasting, more satisfying with God than with sin."
4. Highlights in the Bible the superior joy that comes from knowing Christ, rather than all the forms of sin that might be pursued. Make this recurring theme throughout your teaching. Join Paul by saying that you consider everything as a loss because of the supreme value of knowing Christ Jesus (Philippians 3: 8). Help them to incarnate them and see "This is why we will obey." It is a better, more joyful, more lasting, more satisfying way to God than to sin. "
5. Tell more and more stories – from the Bible, from society, from history, from missions – on young people, young people and young women who have done incredibly sacrificial things for the joy that was assigned to them in God. In the end, the Most of our children grow eager for meaning as much as they crave other things. They need to know where to find that meaning. They want to do something that really matters with their lives. These stories – stories of Daniel, David, Timothy, missionary stories, military stories from the First World War, World War II, etc. – they help. It is here that our children will hear stories of young people who have made incredible acts of courage.
6. Make the Gospel the constant refrain of all our teaching. I mean, keep in front of your children that Christ died for sinners, and that provides a way to preserve and restore brotherhood with himself when we have failed. All children fail. They all do bad things. Their conscience annoys them. They know they are sinners. They need to be reminded again and again about the way the gospel deals with failure and sin, not the way of the world. Otherwise, they will become secret and hide their sins because they do not know how to fix them with God, not to mention their parents. But if their parents are constantly struggling to deal with failure, they could prevent their children from going underground to their sins.
7. Do not assume that everything goes well in their hearts. Probe. Ask more of the short question "How are you?". Stay alone with them in the solitude of a bedroom or in a car or in a restaurant where only you and that child go. It digs into their hearts, their feelings, their fears, their hopes, the challenges they experience at school and with other brothers. Do not be satisfied with a verbal, superficial answer of a single word. Tell them stories about your child's feelings, your failures, your sins and your struggles, so they're open that way. Few things, I think, sweeten a child and give them hope rather than knowing that mum and dad are not infallible.
"Most of our children grow eager for meaning as much as they crave other things. They have to know where to find it."
8. Help your children find good, Christian, devoted friends. The Bible says that bad company corrupts good morals (1 Corinthians 15:33). Of course, we want our children to grow up and be good evangelists, but it is a mistake to think that finding their closest friends among the unbelievers is a good preparation for young minds. There is a difference between loving unbelievers and loving what they love. For young and impressionable minds, the methods of spiritual warfare against the powers of darkness are not yet in full force.
9. Make sure, if you can, that your children have a good church where they are forming the habits of corporate worship and discipleship. Let them see you, mum and dad, love your church, and worship, sing and pray and become active churchmen and women. If that's what you want them to be, they have to see it.
10. Establish protection on all your electronic devices in your home so that the child is subject to the same examination of mum and dad, or vice versa. Do not treat them as unreliable while you pretend to be above control. Let them know that the whole family understands the dangers of pornography (as well as other superficial distractions) and its easy accessibility. Let them know that mum and dad share the same concern, the same load, the same susceptibility and the same responsibility.
11. I would suggest that mum and dad should form a relationship with one or two other couples to form a plan to fast and pray together. Maybe it's once a week or so. Skip a lunch, introduce yourself and pray for thirty minutes, only for the children of the other. Pray that God exercises supernatural power to work in your children all the dreams you have for their pity.
I'm sure there are other important things that I have not said, but I will mention these eleven in the hope that they can stimulate our friend Molly to go deeper and look for her way with her children.
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